The holiday season often brings a mix of joy and stress for couples. The pressure to find the perfect gifts, navigate complex family dynamics, and manage packed schedules can easily overshadow the deeper meaning of connection. For couples and the therapists who guide them, this time of year presents an opportunity to explore the profound power of presence. Right now maybe you are dreaming up future-wishing New Year’s Resolutions. Or perhaps you’re looking backwards for a “year in review” Today I’m suggesting something from Ram Dass’s essential 1971 book Be Here Now. "Don't think about the past”, Dass says. “Just be here now." This resonates with Emotionally Focused Therapy and the focus on the present moment and the emotions arising in real-time. Couples often dwell on past hurts, but therapists can guide them to focus on what they’re experiencing now, using that awareness to build closeness and repair trust.
For couples, presence can transform transactional routines into meaningful interactions. When shopping for gifts, for instance, it’s easy to focus on price tags and checklists, losing sight of the intention behind giving. But what if couples paused to reflect on what truly matters to their partner? Therapists can encourage clients to approach gift-giving as an act of emotional attunement, asking, “What might deepen our connection?” The same principle applies to navigating holiday stress—helping couples recognize when they are overwhelmed and guiding them back to moments of mindfulness and shared vulnerability. These small acts of being present create lasting impressions that outlive any material gift.
As therapists, maintaining presence with our clients during this hectic season is equally vital. Borrowing from Ram Dass's wisdom, we can model what it means to "be here now" in the therapy room. By grounding ourselves in the present moment with each couple, we offer a sanctuary where partners can reconnect in ways that feel genuine and healing. Whether it’s guiding a couple through a tense holiday conflict or helping them express their gratitude for one another, the work we do becomes a gift in itself.
This holiday season, let’s help couples unwrap the present—their shared presence—and rediscover the love and resilience that lies at the heart of their connection.
Now on with this week’s Ohio EFT Newsletter:
How To See The Good In Families And Connections In The Holiday Season.
by Christopher W.T. Miller, MD on December 23rd, 2024
It is useful to reflect on how our difficult relationships reached the place they did, and whether there are steps we might take toward healing them. The Washington Post’s “Ask A Therapist” column has the full story.
The Micropolitics Of Family Gift Giving.
by Elizabeth Bernstein on December 23rd, 2024
The real holiday drama is the family gift-giving quagmire.
How To (Gently) Set Boundaries During The Holidays.
by Nina Agrawal on December 23rd, 2024
Experts share tips for minimizing irritation and avoiding intrusive questions.
Our Next Ohio EFT Virtual Call Is This Coming Friday, December 27th.
by Ohio EFT on December 23rd, 2024
Join us at 9:00am this coming Friday for our continuing online discussion about Emotionally Focused Therapy. We’ll be discussing the fourth move of the EFT Tango: processing the enactment and addressing blocks. Here’s the link.
More Men Are Addicted To The ‘Crack Cocaine’ Of The Stock Market.
by Gunjan Banerji on December 23rd, 2024
Gamblers Anonymous meetings are filling up with people hooked on trading and betting. Apps make it as easy as ordering takeout. This article does a great job of explaining something I saw quite a bit of during couples sessions in 2024.
The Two Most-Dreaded Words In A Text Conversation.
by Ann-Marie Alcántara on December 23rd, 2024
The phrase ‘call me’ could mean anything from an emergency to grocery shopping, leaving those on the receiving end panicked. Here’s how to navigate your reaction.
The New Ohio EFT Website Is Up & Running.
by Chris Cantergiani on December 23rd, 2024
We launched our first website back in the summer of ‘22, and it’s time for an upgrade! Please check out our brand-new website and let us know what you think. We’ve got resources for therapists and clients as well as a directory. If you’re already an ICEEFT member and would like to be listed, please let us know. Keep an eye on this newsletter for an exciting announcement about a training opportunity you won’t want to miss.
Grief Makes Us Time Travelers.
by Ida Momennejad on December 23rd, 2024
A neuroscientist studying memory, I used to believe time was linear. Then my mother had a stroke.
7 Things To Add Or Subtract For Happiness, According To Science.
by Jacqueline Nesi on December 23rd, 2024
Preregistered studies break down evidence-backed happiness boosters into things to add to or subtract from our lives.
