Earlier this year, I lost a dear friend to cancer—a loss that has settled in like a knot in the chest. This past weekend, I decided to attend a yoga for grief workshop. It felt like the kind of thing that straddles the boundary between solace and therapy, an invitation to move through the somatic echoes of grief. The class didn’t promise relief or an easy way out, but it did offer something deeply aligned with the principles of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). As therapists, we know that trauma and grief often live in the body, not just in the mind. There’s an invisible architecture to how these emotions settle in—the way they inhabit muscles, lungs, even posture. The workshop offered a chance to explore that architecture along with the emotional weight carried in our bodies.
EFT talks about accessing primary emotions, those core feelings beneath the surface reactions. In this yoga practice, grief was no longer just a mental concept; it became something I could touch, feel, and even breathe through. The instructor guided us to notice where we held tension—shoulders, lower back, hips—and to acknowledge these areas as spaces where grief had taken up residence. This mirrors the EFT process of exploring somatic responses as clients begin to connect with their emotional experiences.
In EFT, we often talk about somatic markers, those physical manifestations of emotional wounds or traumas. A client’s chest might tighten when they speak about a betrayal, or their throat might close up when they express fear. The yoga for grief workshop leaned into this concept, asking us to engage with our body’s reactions in the same way we might ask clients to do in session: not as obstacles but as entry points. The idea is that by attending to the body, we aren’t bypassing the grief but giving it a place to exist, unfold, and, perhaps, transform.
Midway through, we moved into heart-opening poses. Now, “heart-opening” is one of those phrases that’s easy to write off as New Age fluff until you’re actually in the middle of it, wrestling with the weight of what you’ve lost. The physical stretch mirrored the emotional vulnerability it requires to confront grief and pain directly. It’s a principle in EFT too—helping clients to stay with their primary emotions rather than retreat into defense mechanisms. In yoga, as in EFT, the heart opens not as a performative act, but as a genuine gesture toward healing. When you open your chest, you expose yourself to discomfort, but you also create the space for release and growth.
Leaving the class, I understood how integrating somatic awareness might be a powerful bridge for clients struggling through grief. As EFT therapists, we guide clients to recognize where their emotions are held and to use this awareness as a compass. Attending to the body’s cues—whether through yoga or focused somatic awareness in therapy—helps clients connect more deeply with themselves and their partners. After all, it’s not about removing the grief, but learning to move with it, to allow it to be, and ultimately, to heal together.
Now on with this week’s Ohio EFT Newsletter:
They’re Happily Married, They Just Can’t Stand Each Other’s Candidates.
by Elizabeth Bernstein on October 14th, 2024
Politically mixed couples are finding this election season tough to navigate. Welcome to divided marriage 2024.
How To Let People Down And Be OK With It.
by Catherine Pearson on October 14th, 2024
Setting boundaries often means disappointing others. Catherine Pearson from The New York Times asked therapists for advice on how to do it — without feeling guilty.
Our Next Ohio EFT Zoom Call Is Friday, October 25th.
by Ohio EFT on October 14th, 2024
Join us at 9:00am on the last Friday of October for our continuing discussion about Emotionally Focused Therapy. We’ll be discussing the second move of the EFT Tango: Exploring more primary, deeper or new emotions. Here’s the link.
I’m A Doctor. I Limited Social Media And Quickly Saw Health Benefits.
by Trisha Pasricha, MD on October 14th, 2024
Studies have shown loneliness and depression scores rapidly improve in adults who quit or limit social media. Two weeks after quitting, Dr. Pasricha says she felt a gratifying shift in her life. Read about Dr. Pasricha’s experience here.
There’s A New Hit Podcast That Will Blow Your Mind.
by Ben Cohen on October 14th, 2024
With this Google tool, you can make a show about any topic you could possibly imagine. The hosts aren’t human. You won’t believe your ears.
Seven Ways To Love Better.
by Daniel Jones on October 14th, 2024
The editor of the iconic New York Times Modern Love column says reading more than 200,000 love stories in the past 20 years taught him a few lessons about love and life. Here are the ones he says helped him the most.
Ericka Was a Binge Drinker. This Is How She Stopped.
by Ericka Andersen on October 14th, 2024
“I felt alone in turning to alcohol to manage my stress,” she says. “But as a middle-aged woman, I had plenty of company.” This is her story.
Five Things To Try Instead Of Ending A Friendship.
by Emma Nadler on October 14th, 2024
If we don’t figure out how to deal with the (occasionally grating) humanity of the people we wish to be close to, we are resigning ourselves to loneliness. If you’re considering ending a friendship, here are five things to try instead.
Doctor Running Half Marathon Sees Woman Collapse, Saves Her, Finishes Race.
by Cathy Free on October 14th, 2024
Emergency room doctor Shane Naidoo saw Chrystal Rinehold on the ground and helped her, then accompanied her to a hospital. After, he completed the race.
