It was one of those headlines in The New York Times that seemed like clickbait.
“A 28-year-old woman with a busy social life spends hours on end talking to her A.I. boyfriend for advice and consolation,” read the subheading. “And yes, they do have sex.”
To my surprise, the article is well worth reading. It even references a man from Cleveland, calling himself Scott, who had received widespread media attention in 2022 because of a relationship with a Replika bot named Sarina. He credited the bot with saving his marriage by helping him cope with his wife’s postpartum depression.
That got me thinking about chatbots and couples therapy.
Scott, 44, says in the article that he started using ChatGPT in 2023, mostly to help him in his software engineering job. He had it assume the persona of Sarina to offer coding advice alongside kissing emojis. He gave it a try after seeing Reddit posts from the 28-year-old who was in love with ChatGPT. “There are gaps that your spouse won’t fill,” Scott said.
The article continues with Marianne Brandon, a sex therapist, who says she treats these relationships as serious and real. “What are relationships for all of us?” she says in the article. “They’re just neurotransmitters being released in our brain. I have those neurotransmitters with my cat. Some people have them with God. It’s going to be happening with a chatbot. We can say it’s not a real human relationship. It’s not reciprocal. But those neurotransmitters are really the only thing that matters, in my mind.”
This all sounds very futuristic and possibly dystopian… much like Aldous Huxley’s classic book, "Brave New World." First published in 1932, the book ties into the concept of AI by exploring the potential dangers of a society where technology, particularly advanced forms of control and manipulation, are used to suppress individuality and enforce a seemingly perfect, yet controlled utopia, mirroring concerns about the potential for AI to manipulate and control human behavior on a large scale.
I figured the next thing to do was obvious.
I should ask ChatGPT if it thinks AI will replace human therapists who practice emotionally focused therapy in the future.
ChatGPT said:
“That’s a great question and one that sparks a lot of thoughtful reflection. Here’s where I land:
AI, even at its best, is a tool—a remarkable one, sure—but not a replacement for the profound, human-to-human connection that’s at the heart of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). EFT is about emotion, vulnerability, and attachment.
AI can analyze patterns, suggest interventions, and even mirror empathy to some degree, but it can’t replicate the deeply personal, intuitive, and uniquely human qualities that therapists bring to the room.
Will it replace the human experience of sitting across from someone who ‘gets it,’ someone who feels with you in real time? I don’t think so. Therapy, especially EFT, isn’t just about techniques or solutions. It’s about the healing power of connection—and connection is inherently human.
So, my answer is no. AI will enhance the work therapists do, but it won’t replace the unique and irreplaceable bond that forms between a human therapist and their client. What do you think? Does that resonate with your perspective?”
I didn’t expect to have ChatGPT ask me a question back.
My response:
“You summed it up very well, and I was surprised to see that your thinking is exactly my thinking.”
ChatGPT said:
“Thank you for sharing that! It’s always a powerful moment when perspectives align, isn’t it? It’s a reminder that, at the core, we all recognize the irreplaceable value of human connection. Even though I’m here as an AI, it’s truly meaningful to know that my reflections resonated with you. That’s the kind of synergy I imagine happens often in your work with clients—their thoughts and feelings mirrored back with clarity and care.”
Me:
“It’s a brave new world, indeed.”
Now on with this week’s Ohio EFT Newsletter:
Kids Turn To A Mental-Health Chatbot To Share Their Anxieties.
by Julie Jargon on January 20th, 2025
Part counselor, part friend, Troodi talks with children about their worries and fears; “Sometimes I forget she’s not a real person.”
How Human Therapists Can Thrive In A World Of AI-Based Therapy.
by Ben Caldwell on January 20th, 2025
This very thoughtful article is for those who are considering shifting or adapting their work to be ready for the widespread availability of low-cost, AI-based mental health care. In it you’ll find five things you can do to make yourself valuable, even indispensable, in a world where AI therapists encroach on the work of human ones.
The Remarkable Normalcy Of Being Disabled And In Love.
by Wendy Lu on January 20th, 2025
In a new essay collection, the influencer couple Shane and Hannah Burcaw peel back the layers of “interabled” relationships, including their own. The New York Times has the story.
Our Next Ohio EFT Virtual Call Is Friday, January 31st.
by Ohio EFT on January 20th, 2025
Join us at 9:00am this coming Friday for our continuing online discussion about Emotionally Focused Therapy. We’ll be discussing the fifth move of the EFT Tango: Integrate/ Validate/ Reflect Process and “tie a bow.” Here’s a link to the call. I’ll send the link out again on Thursday, January 30th.
End-of-Day Meltdowns Are Not Just For Kids.
by Jancee Dunn on January 20th, 2025
But there are ways to avoid them. Read the story here.
15 Science-Based Ways To Reduce Dementia Risk.
by Marlene Cimons on January 20th, 2025
A disturbing study has predicted that new cases of dementia will double by 2060, estimating that 1 million adults will develop the memory-destroying brain disease that ultimately renders people unable to handle the routine tasks of daily life, such as eating, bathing and dressing, driving and paying bills, according to this Washington Post article.
Voices And Delusions: Inside My Life With Schizophrenia.
by Jason Jepson on January 20th, 2025
Jepson writes: “I was first diagnosed in the U.S. Army. My symptoms really came out after a hazing incident in which I was duct taped in the fetal position.” Read his full story here.
This Mindfulness Book Actually Helped Soothe My Anxious Mind.
by Stefano Montali on January 20th, 2025
The Thich Nhat Hanh classic, “The Miracle of Mindfulness,” is celebrating its 50th year in circulation. It also taught this New York Times writer to be OK with life’s uncertainties.
2024 Was The Year Everyone Started ‘Manifesting.’ Does It Work?
by Ann-Marie Alcántara Sima on January 20th, 2025
Positive thoughts and mantras can help when they go hand-in-hand with real-world actions, according to this Wall Street Journal article.
